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Dick of the Underworld
wife of evan tolliver and hank pym

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mom: "girl gets struck by lightning... while masturbating"
me: ... did she live? was it good?
10 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 0 notes

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

11 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 140,832 notes
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negativergb:

i dont even know what to say

12 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 733 notes

i had blow everything up like 4 times because my eyes are so dilated i still can’t see

12 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 0 notes

first you should look for my husband…

12 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 268 notes
severeinfatuation:

The entirety of Wrathia’s plans from chapter five of Ava’s Demon!
All pages are in order from first to last, click through to see the full size!

severeinfatuation:

The entirety of Wrathia’s plans from chapter five of Ava’s Demon!

All pages are in order from first to last, click through to see the full size!

13 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 156 notes
the-serenity-prayers:

                       Ava? Look behind you.

the-serenity-prayers:

                       Ava? Look behind you.
15 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 213 notes
sharkchunks:

metalheadadam:

pimpinchilton:

commanderabutt:

shadow1423:

commanderabutt:

spaff-der-kegel-doer:

historynet:

seen on my face book feed(Anti-vaccination, modern)

"studies"

who has ever thought this ever

Don’t let your children drink water it might make them think drinking other clear liquids is okay do you want your child drinking bleach

don’t let your children walk, it might make them think its okay to walk away from home

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure not even people who use heroin believe it is beneficial.

Don’t let your child breathe air. Studies have shown thatin the event of a fire, children who breathe in air are much more likely to breathe in smoke than children who’ve never breathed air.

Don’t have a child. 100% of children grow up and die. You’re literally condemning your own children to die.

sharkchunks:

metalheadadam:

pimpinchilton:

commanderabutt:

shadow1423:

commanderabutt:

spaff-der-kegel-doer:

historynet:

seen on my face book feed(Anti-vaccination, modern)

"studies"

who has ever thought this ever

Don’t let your children drink water it might make them think drinking other clear liquids is okay do you want your child drinking bleach

don’t let your children walk, it might make them think its okay to walk away from home

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure not even people who use heroin believe it is beneficial.

Don’t let your child breathe air. Studies have shown thatin the event of a fire, children who breathe in air are much more likely to breathe in smoke than children who’ve never breathed air.

Don’t have a child. 100% of children grow up and die. You’re literally condemning your own children to die.

16 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 45,662 notes

my pizza rolls have begun to sizzle

soon

17 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 0 notes

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

17 hours ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 168,227 notes